Slight Relapse

Well, again it's been a while since my last post, and I do apologize. Sometimes I just want to wait until I have something interesting to write about....but I should write more than I currently do.
Well, it's that time of the year again when we are frantically cramming for finals and shopping for Christmas gifts. This year we all are trying to survive the economic crisis that has hit out country so hard. Times are hard, but it has been one of the most enlightening for me.


I think that in general as Americans we take so much for granted. We don't realize how truly blessed we are and I have honestly been ashamed of myself for it. I have so much to be grateful for, but in today's society and especially in my generation it's the "gimmie-gimmie"/"instant gratification" time for our country. God allows hardships such as our current economic situation to make us rely more on Him. It's so easy when things are going well to not think twice about thanking our Heavenly father for what we have, and what's worse is that when times get tough, we blame God for all of our hardships instead of humbling ourselves before Him and asking for His forgiveness and guidance. It's these situations that break us down so that we have to seek out our Creator.


For the last week or so I've had a slight relapse into my old thoughts about death. I know that it's part of my being human to fear the unknown, but at the same time it shows that I am so weak not to trust my heavenly father about my welfare. God used several sources to speak to me today. First one was via Christian Radio broadcast this morning. It talked about how we should interpret Christ's symbolism between the bridegroom (Jesus) and the bride ( The Church). Another broadcast I caught was again about the bride and the bridegroom. How deeply Christ loves His children. He has clothed us with His righteousness (wedding gown) and to gain our hand He gave up His life for us. But He came back for His bride 3 days later. I don't remember exactly how each minister described it, but both went on continually about Christ's love of the church.


I know that He will always be with me, but sometimes I let thoughts of death creep in to my mind and they seperate bits of my trust for my savior. I shouldn't let this happen and I try to put my mind on heavenly things. But I do think the most important part of these radio broadcasts was that our short time here on earth is just the trip to the wedding party. The wedding celebration should be our real goal and destination to think on. As sinful humans, we cling to what we know and are capable of understanding which are mostly things of this brief world. It's hard not to wish for all the wasted time that is behind us.


Last night I layed awake thinking of the holiday season and just thinking how fast time flies. When we are little we so desperately want to be older to be independant to be taken seriously. I just longed to be a little girl again. The time when I thought that my parents would always be there to protect me and believe in the goodness of people and to be able to have that childlike faith again. As we grow older we realize that our parents as well as other relatives and role models aren't perfect, but that they will not always be around to watch over you. Usually the younger generation begins to take care of their parents as they grow older. Growing older is not for the faint hearted. The people you look up to will one day die and you will be the older generation that everyone will look to for answers, advice, and protection. It's a rather scary thought to me that I will someday be that older generation expected to know all the answers.


What I wouldn't give to be able to as Cher so plainly put it, turn back time....I can't believe I just quoted Cher, gah! Point being I miss being a kid with a huge security blanket. I want to have that older generation that I can go to for everything. It scares me to think that someday I will be the one people will look up to and the generation older than me will no longer exist on this earth. But I think as we grow older we complicate life so much. We go into overkill on complication. No, there might not be a physical person for me to look up to someday and I'm sure it might feel weird listening to a paster younger than me preach someday, but there is one truth that will always be........GOD IS THE START AND END OF ETERNITY! He has been way before me, with me ALL of my life and there after. What a comfort to know that I will always have my savior, even when I may be the oldest person I know .


The third source that God spoke to me with was an old Daily Bread devotional from 1926 by F.E. Pasche. I personally thought it was great that they put up the older divotionals that are now in the public domain up online. Anyway, I found one titled, "God is Omnipresent" which seemed like where I might find the words of comfort I needed today. Take a read, and I think you will find the parts I highlighted of significant value to you as well.



GOD IS OMNIPRESENT

"Lo. I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." -Matthew 28:20


In the Book of Jeremiah, in the 23rd chapter, we read: "Am I a God at hand, saith the Lord, and not a God afar off? Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the Lord. Do I not fill heaven and earth? saith the Lord." God is everywhere, so that no one can hide from Him, and no one need search far for Him.


God the Father is omnipresent, and so is God the Holy Spirit; but also God teh Son. He made this promise to His Christians: "Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." Of Him St.Paul says: "He fills all things." He fills all things with His presence in heaven and in earth. He said: "All things that the Father hath are Mine."


The Triune God is inclosed nowhere, excluded from nowhere. He is a God at hand and a God afar off. He is above all and through all and in all. Therefore, wherever we are, when most lonesome and forsaken, God is near us; yea, He is with us always, hears our prayers, knows our cares. He is near us with His help and defense, as David sings in the 145th Psalm: "The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon Him, to all that call upon Him in truth. He will fufill the desire of hem that fear Him; He also will hear their cry and will save them." And in the 23rd Psalm he says: "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me."


God's omnipresence is very consoling to us because through faith in Christ Jesus we are His children. We therefore do not flee from God and hide vefore our kind and loving God and heavenly Father, but praise and thank Him for His gracious omnipresence. We trust in the promise He gave to His children through the prophet Isaiah: "Fear not; for I have redeemed thee; thou art Mine. I will be with thee."
Prayer


To Thee alone, O Lord, Thou omnipresent God, I entrust my body and soul and all I have. Do Thou guide my every footstep and my pilgrimage to my eternal home. Provide also faithfully for those dear to me. Grant them happiness and health. And when at last I shall have arrived at the goal of my pilgrimage, then give me a peaceful and happy death and take me into Thy glory, my heavenly home, where I shall dwell in They presence forevermore. Amen.


Well there you have my spiritual message for the day. So many of these words are so comforting to me. The Lord is omnipresent and that doesn't mean in just physical places, it means my heart, soul and mind too. God is always in those places with me, in my heart, soul and mind. I think that sometimes being alone for long periods of time at work on the weekends allow my mind to wander to thoughts of being alone and death. But thank goodness for the internet here because God has used it to be my comfort source. So I can look up His promises to me when I need Him during my times of loneliness.


This entry has been rather scattered and long, but hey this is my faith blog. These are the spiritual issues that I've been struggling with lately. And I think the imporant thing about these entries is that you understand that not only is it a release for me to write all of this down, but it is also meant to be a service to others. Even though I don't get many comments on these entries, I know that people read them. My hope is that God uses these entries to help people understand that they are not alone in how they feel, that the Lord provides hope and comfort to each and every one of us. I know that especially this time of year we all get so caught up in being busy, but take time to spend with our heavenly father each day. He is the author and finisher of our faith and how can we expect to have a deep relationship with Him if we don't put time and effort into it?


May the Lord bless you all and may your own burdens be lightened by the promises of our Savior. Hugs to all!