...backsliding....argh...

So long story short.....I screwed up today.....le sigh.....


I've been rather irritable today because of stress for opera auditions and learning a monologue/ getting homework done/ scheduling in new voice students for lessons/ volunteering for BBBG/ getting basically back into the swing of school and the ridiculous homework load that goes with it/ and last but not least finding out that i have the wrong german workbook and that I wasn't sent the correct music history anthology I ordered and I now have to ship them back..............and wait longer to get the actually copies while I'm supposed to be doing homework in them in the mean time?....argh......


Long story tried to be made short....My parents and little sister came to visit me this weekend and I'm excited to spend time with them.....however my apartment isn't exactly clean because I've been trying to get the above things figured out amongst other things, and I had to come in early today which was valuable time to get cleaning/ homework/ etc done.....but what do I do when my mom comes over to talk? I bite her head off for no reason! WHY?! I have no idea....she didn't deserve it, that's for sure. Now she's talking about leaving tomorrow afternoon....argh....
I'm so frustrated with myself because I'm falling into the old habits. I'm letting myself become obsessed with work and school again, and that's not what I want. I want to keep my faith my focus. I realize that when my faith looses the main focus, that's when I get irritable with people or get into foul moods, become upset, etc. I'm just tired plain and simple and I don't have enough hours in the day to get done what I want to get done. I also need to remind myself that it's okay to say no to people...I need to learn how to other wise I will continue down this path of frustration.


"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." - John 13:35
"For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things." - 1 John 3:20


"Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water." -Hebrews 10:22


"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passes away; behold, all things have become new." -2 Corinthians 5:17


"For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Therefore, brotheren, be even more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble." -2 Peter 1:9-10


"I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely, for My anger has turned away from him." - Hosea 14:4


So first things first, I need to apologize to my mom and somehow make up for my rudeness to her. Secondly I need to stop consistantly worrying about what all of the little stuff, because in the long run it's really not going to matter all that much. And most importantly I need to share my concerns with God, period.


So as the school year gets started....keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue to try and reprioritize my life.


"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" -Psalm 27:13-14