Hello all, sorry it's been a few days since I've been able to write. I don't have internet at the apartment, figured I could save $50 a month by just using the internet at school or work. Anywho....Hope you all are well.
So as some of you know I was seeing a guy before I left for the summer. We were kind of in that dating limbo where it's definitely not casual dating anymore, but we haven't talked about dating each other exclusively. I had been seeing him for over a month before I left...maybe in the ballpark of 2 months, not sure...he had said that he would miss me, call me, and would want to see me when I got back. Long story short, there was a 5 week period where I had no form of communication from him whatsoever. I was really hurt and it made me feel completely inadequate as a person, even for someone who was acting like a jerk. He got back into Wichita 2 days after I did and he popped by my work, which was very unusual for him. He said he would call about hanging out on Wednesday, the call never came.
I have made a realization over the past day and a half. My dating relationship and my relationship with God should be treated in the same sense. Now I know it must sound creepy thinking that I should be dating my heavenly "Father", but Christ refers to the church as His bride, so why not?
"As a young man marries a maiden, so will your sons marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." -Isaiah 62:5
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body." -Ephesians 5:25-30
That's the kind of love God wants me to have in my life. Not the kind that forgets me, or doesn't see me for anything but my body, or doesn't want to spend time with me. Right now what I feel God wants me to do is to date Him. God wants to talk to me everyday, multiple times a day!!! He wrote me love letters, His word, that I should read daily as a reminder of His love for me as well as my to do list to live a life pleasing to Him. He has given me life here on earth but also for eternity with Him. He has given me everything! I am a people pleaser at heart, but I long to please my Lord. Nothing I do will come even close to what He has done for me, but I live in His way out of gratitude. He gives me little surprises just because....like flowers, funny animals (even my hamster that chases me in his ball, haha) amazing friends new and old, MUSIC!, and the list could go on and on and on.
What wonderous love is this....no truer words could ever be spoken. What could I possibly compare it to? What could ever surpass it? I need to focus on my "dating" relationship with my Lord and Savior. Only after growing more and more with Him will He bring me the right man in my life. I need a man after God's own heart, and who to better pick out that man for me than God Himself?
As I search for a church home, I know it will be difficult, but I know that I will grow in my relationship with Him, and that is what truly counts!
Hope you all have a fabulous day!
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