So long story short.....I screwed up today.....le sigh.....
I've been rather irritable today because of stress for opera auditions and learning a monologue/ getting homework done/ scheduling in new voice students for lessons/ volunteering for BBBG/ getting basically back into the swing of school and the ridiculous homework load that goes with it/ and last but not least finding out that i have the wrong german workbook and that I wasn't sent the correct music history anthology I ordered and I now have to ship them back..............and wait longer to get the actually copies while I'm supposed to be doing homework in them in the mean time?....argh......
Long story tried to be made short....My parents and little sister came to visit me this weekend and I'm excited to spend time with them.....however my apartment isn't exactly clean because I've been trying to get the above things figured out amongst other things, and I had to come in early today which was valuable time to get cleaning/ homework/ etc done.....but what do I do when my mom comes over to talk? I bite her head off for no reason! WHY?! I have no idea....she didn't deserve it, that's for sure. Now she's talking about leaving tomorrow afternoon....argh....
I'm so frustrated with myself because I'm falling into the old habits. I'm letting myself become obsessed with work and school again, and that's not what I want. I want to keep my faith my focus. I realize that when my faith looses the main focus, that's when I get irritable with people or get into foul moods, become upset, etc. I'm just tired plain and simple and I don't have enough hours in the day to get done what I want to get done. I also need to remind myself that it's okay to say no to people...I need to learn how to other wise I will continue down this path of frustration.
"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." - John 13:35
"For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things." - 1 John 3:20
"Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water." -Hebrews 10:22
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passes away; behold, all things have become new." -2 Corinthians 5:17
"For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Therefore, brotheren, be even more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble." -2 Peter 1:9-10
"I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely, for My anger has turned away from him." - Hosea 14:4
So first things first, I need to apologize to my mom and somehow make up for my rudeness to her. Secondly I need to stop consistantly worrying about what all of the little stuff, because in the long run it's really not going to matter all that much. And most importantly I need to share my concerns with God, period.
So as the school year gets started....keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue to try and reprioritize my life.
"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" -Psalm 27:13-14
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Driving the point home
Looks like a certain heavenly someone likes to drive a point home.....I was looking at my precious bible promises and there it was...
"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." -Proverbs 16:9
So despite the fact that I try to make my own plans, it doesn't matter because He will still shove me in the direction He wants me to follow. I finished reading "Reckless Faith" today and it blew me away. This book was like reading my inner thoughts, having my own plans instead of listening to what God is telling my heart. But in one of the chapters, Beth talks about learning how to stop following our own plans that are self-glorifying and to follow the plan God has created for us, to serve others. It really hit home. I didn't start freaking out about not getting a large part until I started listening to what others though I should do verses listening to the plan that I had already intended to follow, God's plan. He has a reason why I can't financially be in the fall opera...I'm paying off debt from being unemployed this summer for 2 months, volunteering for BBBS, getting in a women's bible study, and starting to teach voice lessons. I'm so excited for the possibilities!!! And at this point I can accept that I might not receive a role this year, but that's okay. He has a plan for me....and although I can't see the entire project, I know that I just have to trust Him...It's called faith, and something that I should have a bit more of. It's time that I stopped being self centered and learn how to serve others. God is good. I like to brag about Him now, I think He's pretty spiffy!
as Beth & Gabby would say....Daddy has a plan !
"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." -Proverbs 16:9
So despite the fact that I try to make my own plans, it doesn't matter because He will still shove me in the direction He wants me to follow. I finished reading "Reckless Faith" today and it blew me away. This book was like reading my inner thoughts, having my own plans instead of listening to what God is telling my heart. But in one of the chapters, Beth talks about learning how to stop following our own plans that are self-glorifying and to follow the plan God has created for us, to serve others. It really hit home. I didn't start freaking out about not getting a large part until I started listening to what others though I should do verses listening to the plan that I had already intended to follow, God's plan. He has a reason why I can't financially be in the fall opera...I'm paying off debt from being unemployed this summer for 2 months, volunteering for BBBS, getting in a women's bible study, and starting to teach voice lessons. I'm so excited for the possibilities!!! And at this point I can accept that I might not receive a role this year, but that's okay. He has a plan for me....and although I can't see the entire project, I know that I just have to trust Him...It's called faith, and something that I should have a bit more of. It's time that I stopped being self centered and learn how to serve others. God is good. I like to brag about Him now, I think He's pretty spiffy!
as Beth & Gabby would say....Daddy has a plan !
Freakout...wah!
So I am in the usual freak out mode for opera auditions this year. I am freaking out more than usual this year because there are so many grad students, very talented grad students, and being a senior I don't want to not have a part. I wasn't planning on auditioning for the fall opera because I need to pay off my debt from this summer and I can't afford to not work less than 3 shifts a week. I now want to audition because I'm afraid that I won't have a role.
In the book "Reckless Faith" by Beth Gugenberger that I've been reading, it talks about learning how to stop making all of these back up plans and learn to just trust in God. I have to learn how to let go, because I really don't have any control anyways.
I'm afraid what will happen if I'm not in a show. It scares me and I'm not sure what I will do because performing is what I live for. I want my directors to be understanding of the fact that I have to work otherwise I won't be able to afford to pay my bills, food and pay off my debt. I would love to be in both shows, but I just can't afford it. If I auditioned for the fall opera, I would have to rearrange my voice students, find someone to cover part of my shift at work on Fridays and take a pay cut, wouldn't be able to get out of debt and struggle to make minimum payments, and miss the Bible study I REQUESTED (aka not acceptable). I want them to be understanding of my situation, but it's so hard to not have any control over it and to know who and what my competition is. I'm so upset and worried and ACK!
So I'm not sure what the future holds, but I'm trying my best to let God handle it without making my own back up plans.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3: 5-6
In the book "Reckless Faith" by Beth Gugenberger that I've been reading, it talks about learning how to stop making all of these back up plans and learn to just trust in God. I have to learn how to let go, because I really don't have any control anyways.
I'm afraid what will happen if I'm not in a show. It scares me and I'm not sure what I will do because performing is what I live for. I want my directors to be understanding of the fact that I have to work otherwise I won't be able to afford to pay my bills, food and pay off my debt. I would love to be in both shows, but I just can't afford it. If I auditioned for the fall opera, I would have to rearrange my voice students, find someone to cover part of my shift at work on Fridays and take a pay cut, wouldn't be able to get out of debt and struggle to make minimum payments, and miss the Bible study I REQUESTED (aka not acceptable). I want them to be understanding of my situation, but it's so hard to not have any control over it and to know who and what my competition is. I'm so upset and worried and ACK!
So I'm not sure what the future holds, but I'm trying my best to let God handle it without making my own back up plans.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3: 5-6
God is good...All the time!
Hello all! Today God amazed me yet again, dang he's good!
Okay, so after my trip yesterday I was pooped. I was in need of sleep and in a big way! So last night before I got off work I decided to not go to the churches I had initially planned to attend today and go to the 10:45 at St.Andrew's where the Duncan family is preaching and in the pews . Yesterday made me realize how much this family has come to mean to me over the past year. They aren't here just by chance, I know that the Lord put them in my life and man are they great! I really feel like I'm at home when I'm with them and it's that feeling of home that I've missed sooooooooooooo much! And this morning when I went to the pew they sat in, I was instantly welcomed with hugs, man it felt AWESOME! This is the type of fellowship that I've missed so much. That feeling of family and support that we all have for each other. God didn't create man to be alone, and yes you do need time alone with God...but he created the church for fellowship, to hold each other accountable, to support and lift each other up in our hardships, rejoice in each others blessings, and to worship our creator together. This is one increadible gift that God gives us, the opportunity to have fellowship with other believers. I never realized how much I missed my church home and even took it for granted until I didn't have it.
The message this morning was also no coincidence. God spoke volumes to me this morning. We read 1 Corinthians 15:50-58. But the verse that spoke to me the most was verse 58.
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." -1 Corinthians 15: 58
Wow, how powerful is that?! My soul keeps yearning for this kind of encouragement and promise....Stand firm. Let nothing move you.......What a statement. He is commanding me to let NOTHING move me, aka my faith and trust in him, my convictions. This means others around me, my own thoughts that I try to keep focused on righteous things vs. my fears. This passage makes it so clear that if I devote my life and my will to Him, He will fufill me with a purpose; a work in His plan. He has a plan for me and for all of you! You are an irreplacable piece in His work.
I was also given a book to read by Melissa called "Reckless Faith" by Beth Guckenberger. It came out a little over a week ago and it is AMAZING!!! Talk about giving over your will to God! Definitely a must read! The faith that this woman talkes about is the faith that I desire to have. She doesn't try to make all of these back up plans, she simply trusts that her heavenly Father will provide for her and the orphans she works with in Moneterry, Mexico. Melissa gave me this book because I've told her that God has planted this huge desire in me to nurture, a huge desire! She gave me this book to read, and man what an impact it has had on me. I used to be afraid of being a mother, I used to say that I never wanted to have kids ever. But now I know that I need and want to be a mother someday more than anything. I used to be afraid that I would screw up my child's life in so many ways...so I simply thought, "I love you hypothetical child so much that I just won't have you so I can't screw you up." Not the mind set I should have at all. What an amazing adventure to be a mother! I can't even begin to imagine how all of you moms do it! I've suddenly discovered that if you trust God with everything, you find yourself in unknown territory and that can be quite frightening at times...but at the same time God shows you wonderous things in those moments, show's his plan in action. I know that being a parent is a take it as you go kinda thing...although it would be nice if you could birth out a parenting manual after the kid, oh well....but what an experience to make you rely on God to show you what to do. Wah! Great realizations, I love 'em!
Anyways, below is the link for an interview with the author, Beth, of "Reckless Faith". She shares one of her many experiences about how God always has a plan for each and everyone of us. I strongly encourage you to at least watch the video clip...but really try to read the book!!!
http://www.familychristian.com/shop/product.asp?prodID=56802
Okay, so after my trip yesterday I was pooped. I was in need of sleep and in a big way! So last night before I got off work I decided to not go to the churches I had initially planned to attend today and go to the 10:45 at St.Andrew's where the Duncan family is preaching and in the pews . Yesterday made me realize how much this family has come to mean to me over the past year. They aren't here just by chance, I know that the Lord put them in my life and man are they great! I really feel like I'm at home when I'm with them and it's that feeling of home that I've missed sooooooooooooo much! And this morning when I went to the pew they sat in, I was instantly welcomed with hugs, man it felt AWESOME! This is the type of fellowship that I've missed so much. That feeling of family and support that we all have for each other. God didn't create man to be alone, and yes you do need time alone with God...but he created the church for fellowship, to hold each other accountable, to support and lift each other up in our hardships, rejoice in each others blessings, and to worship our creator together. This is one increadible gift that God gives us, the opportunity to have fellowship with other believers. I never realized how much I missed my church home and even took it for granted until I didn't have it.
The message this morning was also no coincidence. God spoke volumes to me this morning. We read 1 Corinthians 15:50-58. But the verse that spoke to me the most was verse 58.
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." -1 Corinthians 15: 58
Wow, how powerful is that?! My soul keeps yearning for this kind of encouragement and promise....Stand firm. Let nothing move you.......What a statement. He is commanding me to let NOTHING move me, aka my faith and trust in him, my convictions. This means others around me, my own thoughts that I try to keep focused on righteous things vs. my fears. This passage makes it so clear that if I devote my life and my will to Him, He will fufill me with a purpose; a work in His plan. He has a plan for me and for all of you! You are an irreplacable piece in His work.
I was also given a book to read by Melissa called "Reckless Faith" by Beth Guckenberger. It came out a little over a week ago and it is AMAZING!!! Talk about giving over your will to God! Definitely a must read! The faith that this woman talkes about is the faith that I desire to have. She doesn't try to make all of these back up plans, she simply trusts that her heavenly Father will provide for her and the orphans she works with in Moneterry, Mexico. Melissa gave me this book because I've told her that God has planted this huge desire in me to nurture, a huge desire! She gave me this book to read, and man what an impact it has had on me. I used to be afraid of being a mother, I used to say that I never wanted to have kids ever. But now I know that I need and want to be a mother someday more than anything. I used to be afraid that I would screw up my child's life in so many ways...so I simply thought, "I love you hypothetical child so much that I just won't have you so I can't screw you up." Not the mind set I should have at all. What an amazing adventure to be a mother! I can't even begin to imagine how all of you moms do it! I've suddenly discovered that if you trust God with everything, you find yourself in unknown territory and that can be quite frightening at times...but at the same time God shows you wonderous things in those moments, show's his plan in action. I know that being a parent is a take it as you go kinda thing...although it would be nice if you could birth out a parenting manual after the kid, oh well....but what an experience to make you rely on God to show you what to do. Wah! Great realizations, I love 'em!
Anyways, below is the link for an interview with the author, Beth, of "Reckless Faith". She shares one of her many experiences about how God always has a plan for each and everyone of us. I strongly encourage you to at least watch the video clip...but really try to read the book!!!
http://www.familychristian.com/shop/product.asp?prodID=56802
Soul Refresher, ahh :)
New day = fresh outlook on things...
Okay, so yesterday might have been slightly dramatic in my entry, but at the same time just realizing what needs to be dealt with/ fixed. God works in amazing ways, that is for sure :)
So 2 nights ago I was at the Duncan's house made up of a lutheran pastor, wife who runs the ULC, and 2 amazing young ladies my age that I go to school with. I was over there talking with Melissa about the ULC and she invited me to go with her to a campus ministry meeting today at 7am. So as most of you know 7am isn't exactly a functioning time for me, but I really felt compelled to go. So we drove to Emporia at 7am and had a 3.5 hour meeting over various topics, issues, etc. But they talked about other college ministries that really caught my attention. There is a college in Lawrence KS for Native Americans and LCMS has a ministry there. But some of these young adults are dropped off there with just the clothes on their back! Who am I to complain about finances? In short it really put my situation in perspective.
Today I feel so much better, simply because 1) my situation was put in perspective, 2) I got to talk to Melissa about all sorts of things about my faith for about 3 hours worth of driving, 3)God is good all the time.
How true it is that God knows our needs and will provide for us. I shouldn't be freaking out about all of these things. Tomorrow has enough worries of it's own, so just focus on today and live my life in His example. Something else that was shown to me was how refreshing it was to be around this family for a day. It reminded me so much of home and of my former church family. Just to be in a loving Christian environment did wonders for my soul. God even fills the needs that I didn't even realize. He's pretty spiffy I'd say .
So all in all today was an eye opener/ refresher for my spirit about what life is about. I know that I need to use God as my first resort for when I'm worried, not 2nd, 3rd and most definitely not last. He will give me what I need when He sees fit, and I just need to trust in Him. Ahh....I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Thanks God!
Okay, so yesterday might have been slightly dramatic in my entry, but at the same time just realizing what needs to be dealt with/ fixed. God works in amazing ways, that is for sure :)
So 2 nights ago I was at the Duncan's house made up of a lutheran pastor, wife who runs the ULC, and 2 amazing young ladies my age that I go to school with. I was over there talking with Melissa about the ULC and she invited me to go with her to a campus ministry meeting today at 7am. So as most of you know 7am isn't exactly a functioning time for me, but I really felt compelled to go. So we drove to Emporia at 7am and had a 3.5 hour meeting over various topics, issues, etc. But they talked about other college ministries that really caught my attention. There is a college in Lawrence KS for Native Americans and LCMS has a ministry there. But some of these young adults are dropped off there with just the clothes on their back! Who am I to complain about finances? In short it really put my situation in perspective.
Today I feel so much better, simply because 1) my situation was put in perspective, 2) I got to talk to Melissa about all sorts of things about my faith for about 3 hours worth of driving, 3)God is good all the time.
How true it is that God knows our needs and will provide for us. I shouldn't be freaking out about all of these things. Tomorrow has enough worries of it's own, so just focus on today and live my life in His example. Something else that was shown to me was how refreshing it was to be around this family for a day. It reminded me so much of home and of my former church family. Just to be in a loving Christian environment did wonders for my soul. God even fills the needs that I didn't even realize. He's pretty spiffy I'd say .
So all in all today was an eye opener/ refresher for my spirit about what life is about. I know that I need to use God as my first resort for when I'm worried, not 2nd, 3rd and most definitely not last. He will give me what I need when He sees fit, and I just need to trust in Him. Ahh....I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Thanks God!
Ack!!!
So 2 things are bothering me immensely at the moment......
****this entry is not directed at any one specific person, so just let me rant****
1) People who are depressed and cynical all the time and find no joy in life/ pick on others and make fun of their happiness
2) People who don't understand what I stand for living a Christian lifestyleSo frustrating today!
Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean that I'm a pushover or won't "do anything with my life". I know that I'm heading in the right direction for my life. With God it's all or nothing, PERIOD! He has given me the gift of music, and I love performing. I feel that it is what he has called me to do. I've still got another 2 years before I get my Bachelor's and another 3 years for Grad school. I'm doing what I know I need to be doing this semester. I'm not auditioning for the fall opera because I'm sick of Gilbert and Sullivan and Iolanthe isn't a show that people will ooo and ahh over on my resume. I need to start looking at grad schools! I want to take the time to learn senior recital rep this year, but really attack new repetoire this semester and start finding audition arias. I need to be able to work to support myself. And most importantly find a church home and soon.
JUST BECAUSE I'M A PERFORMER DOESN'T MEAN THAT I HAVE TO BE A JERK OR NOT LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I KNOW GOD WISHES.
People are so afraid of Christians and the lifestyle we've been called to lead. They think that if we are living the godly lifestyle that we must not be enjoying life or doing what we truly desire....NOT TRUE! They also seem to think that it's a cop out. It's NOT! I feel that I consistantly have to shout from the rooftops to get people to understand why I live my life by these standards. It's not hard to understand if you just let your guard down and open your eyes. Anyone who knows me well can tell that this is the happiest I've been in YEARS!
Secondly, I'm sick and tired of people who are depressed and cynical! How dare you make fun and rip apart someone else's happiness? It is a choice to be happy, A CHOICE! You can choose to let past circumstances dictate your life and be miserable, or you can get over it and move on! Find the things in life that make you happy and just do them! If there's one phrase I've heard over and over again is that someone has had it worse than you. It's true, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and get over it!WAH! I'm sorry that this has been a rather downer entry, but I know that these things aren't of God. I live following His example in hopes that people can see the difference. Being a Christian is not a guarentee that life will be easy, it's actually more of a guarentee that life will be harder. We will be put through trials, and that includes people hurting our feelings and telling us we don't "have our head on straight".
"Hearken unto me, ye that know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my law; fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings. For the moth shall eat them up like a garment, and the worm shall eat them like wool: but my righteousness shall be for ever, and my salvation from generation to generation" (Isaiah 51:7, 8)
"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us" (Romans 8:1, 33, 34)
I know that God will help me get over my anger and frustrations. I will continue to live th life He has called me to live and the life I WANT to live. To close I want to leave with one of my favorite scriptures that my dad introduced me too.
"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God" -Micah 6:8
****this entry is not directed at any one specific person, so just let me rant****
1) People who are depressed and cynical all the time and find no joy in life/ pick on others and make fun of their happiness
2) People who don't understand what I stand for living a Christian lifestyleSo frustrating today!
Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean that I'm a pushover or won't "do anything with my life". I know that I'm heading in the right direction for my life. With God it's all or nothing, PERIOD! He has given me the gift of music, and I love performing. I feel that it is what he has called me to do. I've still got another 2 years before I get my Bachelor's and another 3 years for Grad school. I'm doing what I know I need to be doing this semester. I'm not auditioning for the fall opera because I'm sick of Gilbert and Sullivan and Iolanthe isn't a show that people will ooo and ahh over on my resume. I need to start looking at grad schools! I want to take the time to learn senior recital rep this year, but really attack new repetoire this semester and start finding audition arias. I need to be able to work to support myself. And most importantly find a church home and soon.
JUST BECAUSE I'M A PERFORMER DOESN'T MEAN THAT I HAVE TO BE A JERK OR NOT LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I KNOW GOD WISHES.
People are so afraid of Christians and the lifestyle we've been called to lead. They think that if we are living the godly lifestyle that we must not be enjoying life or doing what we truly desire....NOT TRUE! They also seem to think that it's a cop out. It's NOT! I feel that I consistantly have to shout from the rooftops to get people to understand why I live my life by these standards. It's not hard to understand if you just let your guard down and open your eyes. Anyone who knows me well can tell that this is the happiest I've been in YEARS!
Secondly, I'm sick and tired of people who are depressed and cynical! How dare you make fun and rip apart someone else's happiness? It is a choice to be happy, A CHOICE! You can choose to let past circumstances dictate your life and be miserable, or you can get over it and move on! Find the things in life that make you happy and just do them! If there's one phrase I've heard over and over again is that someone has had it worse than you. It's true, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and get over it!WAH! I'm sorry that this has been a rather downer entry, but I know that these things aren't of God. I live following His example in hopes that people can see the difference. Being a Christian is not a guarentee that life will be easy, it's actually more of a guarentee that life will be harder. We will be put through trials, and that includes people hurting our feelings and telling us we don't "have our head on straight".
"Hearken unto me, ye that know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my law; fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings. For the moth shall eat them up like a garment, and the worm shall eat them like wool: but my righteousness shall be for ever, and my salvation from generation to generation" (Isaiah 51:7, 8)
"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us" (Romans 8:1, 33, 34)
I know that God will help me get over my anger and frustrations. I will continue to live th life He has called me to live and the life I WANT to live. To close I want to leave with one of my favorite scriptures that my dad introduced me too.
"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God" -Micah 6:8
Need to calm my spirit
Okay kids, here goes....
I went to a new church today, I'm still hunting for a new church home. I went to Central Community Christian Church off of Ridge and Maple. I felt extremely uncomfortable during the worship part of the service, despite the fact that it was the traditional service vs the contemporary. I enjoyed the sermon, especially since the pastor STAYED IN THE BIBLE THE WHOLE TIME! It seems that churches today like to tell stories about personal experience and poems and so forth for sermons instead of being in the word. It's been very frustrating for me in this whole finding a new church home deal due to this. I liked the sermon and felt uncomfortable for the other half of the service, so it's kind of a "well huh" decision right now for me. I'm still poking around a few different churches. I don't feel that I should put a rush on it. And even though it's so hard to go by myself into a new church where I know absolutely no one, it's a process that needs to be done. I also can't have these expectations that I'm going to feel right at home the first time I go to any church. It takes time to build those relationships.
So again I'm at work, and yet again alone for the most part. I am having those lonely feelings again, similar to yesterdays, but not the same. Today I feel lonely because of the whole church home shopping bit. It's sooooooooooo hard! Now I'm beginning to fully appriciate the sound church home I had in KCMO. It would make this so much better if I had someone to go with me, but on a side note...No one is going to hold my hand when I go to meet my maker, so suck it up Mandy! (he he) As harsh as the truth is, it's the truth and I've got to learn to be a big girl, step up to the plate, and do what God requires of me....and that means overcoming my fear of being alone.
But that is the neat part, I'm never alone because He's with me always!
"The LORD had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.' " -Genesis 12:1
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye." -Psalm 32:8
"Commit you works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established." -Proverbs 1:23
So basically I just need to focus on Him and listen to what He speaks to my heart. He will make it clear the way I should go, and that includes my future church home. Keep me in your prayers as I go further on in the search for where God wants me to be! Hugs!
I went to a new church today, I'm still hunting for a new church home. I went to Central Community Christian Church off of Ridge and Maple. I felt extremely uncomfortable during the worship part of the service, despite the fact that it was the traditional service vs the contemporary. I enjoyed the sermon, especially since the pastor STAYED IN THE BIBLE THE WHOLE TIME! It seems that churches today like to tell stories about personal experience and poems and so forth for sermons instead of being in the word. It's been very frustrating for me in this whole finding a new church home deal due to this. I liked the sermon and felt uncomfortable for the other half of the service, so it's kind of a "well huh" decision right now for me. I'm still poking around a few different churches. I don't feel that I should put a rush on it. And even though it's so hard to go by myself into a new church where I know absolutely no one, it's a process that needs to be done. I also can't have these expectations that I'm going to feel right at home the first time I go to any church. It takes time to build those relationships.
So again I'm at work, and yet again alone for the most part. I am having those lonely feelings again, similar to yesterdays, but not the same. Today I feel lonely because of the whole church home shopping bit. It's sooooooooooo hard! Now I'm beginning to fully appriciate the sound church home I had in KCMO. It would make this so much better if I had someone to go with me, but on a side note...No one is going to hold my hand when I go to meet my maker, so suck it up Mandy! (he he) As harsh as the truth is, it's the truth and I've got to learn to be a big girl, step up to the plate, and do what God requires of me....and that means overcoming my fear of being alone.
But that is the neat part, I'm never alone because He's with me always!
"The LORD had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.' " -Genesis 12:1
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye." -Psalm 32:8
"Commit you works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established." -Proverbs 1:23
So basically I just need to focus on Him and listen to what He speaks to my heart. He will make it clear the way I should go, and that includes my future church home. Keep me in your prayers as I go further on in the search for where God wants me to be! Hugs!
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