Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Decision :)
So I've decided that I am going to combine my faith blog and my music blog. I think it's best to keep my life, at least those two aspects, together in the same blog :) so for future reference, please see my sarcasticsoprano blog. Thanks!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Long time no update, ey?
Okay, so it's been a while since my last update, but ther has been tons going on.
So in summary, here's what has happened:
*Went to Eureka Springs to see some friends perform in some operas at OIO
*Went to Philadelphia for a week to study with Alan Held
*Have a new man in my life...and he's fabulous!
*Had this aforementioned boyfriend visit me for the whole week last week
*Had my little 14 year old sister visit this week/took her and my Little from BBBS to a wildlife park/ had a girls' night.
In short....I'M POOPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've loved every second of these past few weeks, but I literally haven't had 2 seconds to myself. I have been shocked about how much I miss my alone time, like I REALLY miss it! Not only that, but when I'm constantly surrounded by people, not only do I loose out on time for myself, but I really lost my devotional time/ prayer time with God. It is definitely true that there can be too much of a good thing. For me now that my life is just about back to normal, I will relish my alone time, and make the most of my personal prayer and bible study time. Even though Frank, aka le boyfriend, and I have our bible study time together over the phone every night/ have evening prayers together, it's not enough for me. I'm not saying this about Frank, I'm saying that I need more time with God alone...just me and my Daddy. I do love the fact that Frank and I are setting up this wonderful tradition in our relationship though :D But as much as I would love to ramble about everything that's been going on for me, I need to have some me time...and I need to have some God time. :)
So in summary, here's what has happened:
*Went to Eureka Springs to see some friends perform in some operas at OIO
*Went to Philadelphia for a week to study with Alan Held
*Have a new man in my life...and he's fabulous!
*Had this aforementioned boyfriend visit me for the whole week last week
*Had my little 14 year old sister visit this week/took her and my Little from BBBS to a wildlife park/ had a girls' night.
In short....I'M POOPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've loved every second of these past few weeks, but I literally haven't had 2 seconds to myself. I have been shocked about how much I miss my alone time, like I REALLY miss it! Not only that, but when I'm constantly surrounded by people, not only do I loose out on time for myself, but I really lost my devotional time/ prayer time with God. It is definitely true that there can be too much of a good thing. For me now that my life is just about back to normal, I will relish my alone time, and make the most of my personal prayer and bible study time. Even though Frank, aka le boyfriend, and I have our bible study time together over the phone every night/ have evening prayers together, it's not enough for me. I'm not saying this about Frank, I'm saying that I need more time with God alone...just me and my Daddy. I do love the fact that Frank and I are setting up this wonderful tradition in our relationship though :D But as much as I would love to ramble about everything that's been going on for me, I need to have some me time...and I need to have some God time. :)
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Previously Read Scriptures, But With A New Meaning
So this past week God has really brought my personal Bible/Scripture study time to life! I have had about 20 ideas and topics for new faith blogs, but this one just seemed to stick: Who is greater and more important, me or God? My will or His will?
There have been a few scriptures that just jumped at me this week and I really want to share them, so here goes :
"He must become greater; I must become less." ~John 3:30
"The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox. The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightning. The voice of the LORD shakes the desert; the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the LORD twists the oaks and strips the forests bare. And in his temple all cry, "Glory!" " ~Psalm 29:3-9
" You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. " ~Psalm 32:7
"Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal." ~Isaiah 26:4
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." ~2 Corinthians 12:7-9
These scriptures might not seem to have a common ground, but they do...and I will explain it :)
As sinful humans, it's easy to become full of ourselves, our skills, and to think that we are the most important. We've all hear a joke similar to this, but since I'm singer...well, you'll get it...
How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one because the world revolves around her.
Funny as it is, there are times in our walk with God where we are determined and demand to be the most important thing. How unfortunate that case is.
In my limited 22 years of experience, I have learned that I have absolutely no control over anything. Just watch, you make plans and God will most definitely change them. I'm grateful that God has shown me at a younger age that I can't control anything, but He controls it all. He just wants to take care of us, His children. He is the Almighty who created the heavens and the earth and keeps the universe in motion...how could I possibly compare with that?! Who would want to if the Almighty wants to give you life and life to the full?
Here's where the scriptures listed above come in.....John 3:30- We do need to become less. We need to realize that it is God's will that will prevail over all, not ours. Learn to be flexible in your life, because only God knows what is in store for you. And it will be a fabulous journey, guarenteed!.....
Psalm 29:3-9 - I loved this verse from an opera singer's perspective. Slightly dorky? Yes, but insightful :) I've listened to all voice types, but the one that will always move me is the sound of a dramatic/Wagnerian Baritone-Bass. IT'S HUGE! The sound completely envelopes you-so basically an in-your-face surround sound system. It also litterally shakes the bones in my body because of the volume and resonance....it's amazing!!!! But this Psalm talks about God's voice...can't help but love the analogy. It can break the cedar trees!!! Go back and read all those descriptions, they are so incredible! If His voice alone can do these things...think of what he is capable of, the sheer power and might of our Creator...makes you feel just a little small, n'est pas?
Psalm 32:7...again the singer loves the musical symbolisms, what can I say? He tells us again and again that He will protect and deliver us...you add that with the previous Psalm and the passage from Isaiah....Cheesy as it sounds, it basically translates to God be my all-time dependable and impenitrable safety blanket. And what an amazing job He does...it's a huge relief off of my shoulders to know that I don't have to worry about these things or try to save myself...God already does that for me :)
And last but certainly not least, the passage from 2 Corinthians. I know in my life that I too have my own "thorn in my flesh". And it's not a curable one either. Paul begged the Lord to take it away from him so that he might be relieved of it. Look at what he wrote! The Lord told him, my grace is sufficient. Lesson from the thorn in the flesh....when we are incomplete or have a weakness...we are not "weak", but strong because we have to turn to our Lord to make us whole. That is the blessing of these "thorns" in our lives. It draws us closer to God and makes us depend on Him for all our needs. It also makes us more empathetic to those around us and their needs. It makes us realize that our own "sufferings" are not as large or deep as those of other people. But most importantly it makes us realize we are not in charge.
Those have been my favorite scriptures of the week....so to sum up, We are the small ones in the grand scheme of things...God is large and in charge. We need to depend on Him and trust in Him to guide our way, and when we do it is much better than what we attempt on our own. Not only is He large and in charge, He surrounds us with His presence....our 24 hour security blanket, holidays included ;)
There have been a few scriptures that just jumped at me this week and I really want to share them, so here goes :
"He must become greater; I must become less." ~John 3:30
"The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox. The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightning. The voice of the LORD shakes the desert; the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the LORD twists the oaks and strips the forests bare. And in his temple all cry, "Glory!" " ~Psalm 29:3-9
" You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. " ~Psalm 32:7
"Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal." ~Isaiah 26:4
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." ~2 Corinthians 12:7-9
These scriptures might not seem to have a common ground, but they do...and I will explain it :)
As sinful humans, it's easy to become full of ourselves, our skills, and to think that we are the most important. We've all hear a joke similar to this, but since I'm singer...well, you'll get it...
How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one because the world revolves around her.
Funny as it is, there are times in our walk with God where we are determined and demand to be the most important thing. How unfortunate that case is.
In my limited 22 years of experience, I have learned that I have absolutely no control over anything. Just watch, you make plans and God will most definitely change them. I'm grateful that God has shown me at a younger age that I can't control anything, but He controls it all. He just wants to take care of us, His children. He is the Almighty who created the heavens and the earth and keeps the universe in motion...how could I possibly compare with that?! Who would want to if the Almighty wants to give you life and life to the full?
Here's where the scriptures listed above come in.....John 3:30- We do need to become less. We need to realize that it is God's will that will prevail over all, not ours. Learn to be flexible in your life, because only God knows what is in store for you. And it will be a fabulous journey, guarenteed!.....
Psalm 29:3-9 - I loved this verse from an opera singer's perspective. Slightly dorky? Yes, but insightful :) I've listened to all voice types, but the one that will always move me is the sound of a dramatic/Wagnerian Baritone-Bass. IT'S HUGE! The sound completely envelopes you-so basically an in-your-face surround sound system. It also litterally shakes the bones in my body because of the volume and resonance....it's amazing!!!! But this Psalm talks about God's voice...can't help but love the analogy. It can break the cedar trees!!! Go back and read all those descriptions, they are so incredible! If His voice alone can do these things...think of what he is capable of, the sheer power and might of our Creator...makes you feel just a little small, n'est pas?
Psalm 32:7...again the singer loves the musical symbolisms, what can I say? He tells us again and again that He will protect and deliver us...you add that with the previous Psalm and the passage from Isaiah....Cheesy as it sounds, it basically translates to God be my all-time dependable and impenitrable safety blanket. And what an amazing job He does...it's a huge relief off of my shoulders to know that I don't have to worry about these things or try to save myself...God already does that for me :)
And last but certainly not least, the passage from 2 Corinthians. I know in my life that I too have my own "thorn in my flesh". And it's not a curable one either. Paul begged the Lord to take it away from him so that he might be relieved of it. Look at what he wrote! The Lord told him, my grace is sufficient. Lesson from the thorn in the flesh....when we are incomplete or have a weakness...we are not "weak", but strong because we have to turn to our Lord to make us whole. That is the blessing of these "thorns" in our lives. It draws us closer to God and makes us depend on Him for all our needs. It also makes us more empathetic to those around us and their needs. It makes us realize that our own "sufferings" are not as large or deep as those of other people. But most importantly it makes us realize we are not in charge.
Those have been my favorite scriptures of the week....so to sum up, We are the small ones in the grand scheme of things...God is large and in charge. We need to depend on Him and trust in Him to guide our way, and when we do it is much better than what we attempt on our own. Not only is He large and in charge, He surrounds us with His presence....our 24 hour security blanket, holidays included ;)
Friday, June 26, 2009
Big Opportunities!
Hello all!
So God provided me with an amazing opportunity yesterday. A friend of mine whom I haven't seen in a few months randomly sends me a message via facebook chat. She asked, "How do you know if you are a good person?"
I told her that my belief/opinion on that is probably quite different from most people's because I was a Christian and she said she really wanted to hear what I thought. WOW! What an opportunity to share God's message with someone who doesn't know Him!!! I told her that no one is good. We are constantly battling between what is right (our soul that God created us with) and what is wrong (our sinful nature). As human beings we are constantly causing others pain as well as hurting ourselves in this life. But the neat part is that because of Christ's sacrifice for us, we are redeemed and made "good" in God's eyes. She said that she really like that response to her question and that she's just gone through a rough break up/ having lots of family issues. I invited her to come over to my apartment later that night. One of my good guy friends just went through a rough break up and I had already invited him over to watch a movie, so I thought it would be a fun evening for all.
They both got to my place around 10pm and we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Bronnie and I are fans and my other friend Neal has not seen the movies or read the books. But we all had a good time and Neal left around 2am (this is REALLY late! Even for me!) but Bronnie stayed for a while more. I asked her what else was going on in her life and she opened up and shared a great deal with me. But in short she left around 4:30am! We spent 2 hours talking about how much God loves her and how He has a plan for her, wants to help her, and desperately wants her to talk with Him. I read her some Psalms...Psalm #4, #8, and #37. I read her the parable of the lillies of the field and the birds of the air/ about worrying. In short, it was a WONDERFUL night, well morning in this case. We prayed together. I started and prayed for her, her family, and even her recently ex-boyfriend because it sounded like he was struggling with things too. She looked at me after I finished and kept saying, "I don't know what I should say." I just told her that God is always here, just like I am with her and he hears us always. We don't have to have an elegant speach, just to talk to him like you do with your friends. And I told her, if you are mad at Him tell Him, and it's not wrong to be upset, but just know that He is in control and that he will always rescue you. She started crying and prayed to her heavenly Father. She asked Him to help her, her family and her ex. It was an amazing night. I loaned her my book Captivating by Staci and John Eldridge and I gave her my tiny Gideon Bible with New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs. I hope that the book Captivating will help her better understand how God fashioned her heart and how men and women were intended to work together.
Today I got a text from her saying that she felt MUCH better, a little sad, but better. What an amazing gift God gave to me in seeing His work bear fruit! We do not always get to see the growth of the seeds we plant...it's all in God's time....but what an incredible moment when He allows us to see that seed take root, grow, and bear fruit! I continue to pray for my friends who "don't believe in God" or just haven't taken the time to get to know Him yet. I try to live my life in a God serving/pleasing way and it's been in my experience that actions speak louder than words. People see that you are different and they know that they can come to you with their troubles because there is a peace that surrounds you. God's peace that surpasses all understanding is something that believers and non believers alike crave in this world. There is nothing else like it. The believers know that it is through God that you receive this peace, and it is up to us as believers to share that truth with the non believers.
I'm off to read my Psalm for the day and celebrate God's wonderful opportunities!!!
So God provided me with an amazing opportunity yesterday. A friend of mine whom I haven't seen in a few months randomly sends me a message via facebook chat. She asked, "How do you know if you are a good person?"
I told her that my belief/opinion on that is probably quite different from most people's because I was a Christian and she said she really wanted to hear what I thought. WOW! What an opportunity to share God's message with someone who doesn't know Him!!! I told her that no one is good. We are constantly battling between what is right (our soul that God created us with) and what is wrong (our sinful nature). As human beings we are constantly causing others pain as well as hurting ourselves in this life. But the neat part is that because of Christ's sacrifice for us, we are redeemed and made "good" in God's eyes. She said that she really like that response to her question and that she's just gone through a rough break up/ having lots of family issues. I invited her to come over to my apartment later that night. One of my good guy friends just went through a rough break up and I had already invited him over to watch a movie, so I thought it would be a fun evening for all.
They both got to my place around 10pm and we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Bronnie and I are fans and my other friend Neal has not seen the movies or read the books. But we all had a good time and Neal left around 2am (this is REALLY late! Even for me!) but Bronnie stayed for a while more. I asked her what else was going on in her life and she opened up and shared a great deal with me. But in short she left around 4:30am! We spent 2 hours talking about how much God loves her and how He has a plan for her, wants to help her, and desperately wants her to talk with Him. I read her some Psalms...Psalm #4, #8, and #37. I read her the parable of the lillies of the field and the birds of the air/ about worrying. In short, it was a WONDERFUL night, well morning in this case. We prayed together. I started and prayed for her, her family, and even her recently ex-boyfriend because it sounded like he was struggling with things too. She looked at me after I finished and kept saying, "I don't know what I should say." I just told her that God is always here, just like I am with her and he hears us always. We don't have to have an elegant speach, just to talk to him like you do with your friends. And I told her, if you are mad at Him tell Him, and it's not wrong to be upset, but just know that He is in control and that he will always rescue you. She started crying and prayed to her heavenly Father. She asked Him to help her, her family and her ex. It was an amazing night. I loaned her my book Captivating by Staci and John Eldridge and I gave her my tiny Gideon Bible with New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs. I hope that the book Captivating will help her better understand how God fashioned her heart and how men and women were intended to work together.
Today I got a text from her saying that she felt MUCH better, a little sad, but better. What an amazing gift God gave to me in seeing His work bear fruit! We do not always get to see the growth of the seeds we plant...it's all in God's time....but what an incredible moment when He allows us to see that seed take root, grow, and bear fruit! I continue to pray for my friends who "don't believe in God" or just haven't taken the time to get to know Him yet. I try to live my life in a God serving/pleasing way and it's been in my experience that actions speak louder than words. People see that you are different and they know that they can come to you with their troubles because there is a peace that surrounds you. God's peace that surpasses all understanding is something that believers and non believers alike crave in this world. There is nothing else like it. The believers know that it is through God that you receive this peace, and it is up to us as believers to share that truth with the non believers.
I'm off to read my Psalm for the day and celebrate God's wonderful opportunities!!!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Dear Daddy...
So now that I've transfered all of my old faith blogs to my blogspot account...on to new blogging!
I've recently started writing what I call my Dear Daddy Letters. I bought several little journals and have started writting letters to my heavenly father. It's been fantastic! I always hated the usual journaling stuff because who really wants to make out an entry starting with Dear Diary...Not me! But this is a great way for me to pray!!! Sometimes I find that I can better express my thoughts and prayers in written words verses spoken words, it just depends. But when I write, it's almost like just sending Him one of those "Thinking of you" or "Hi there!" cards that you find in the Hallmark store. Or even just a lengthy text message. Cheesy though, I know, but it works wonders.
I've also decided to take on a project that will enlighten me more about my Daddy. I decided to start reading the Psalms, one per day, and studying it's meaning in context and how it applies to my life. It's been extremely beneficial thus far and I would highly recommend it to anyone! The Psalms to me as a musician are some of the easiest scriptures for me to relate to. David had a gift for song and poetry and boy did he use them! The Psalms to me are some of the most comforting scriptures. In short, they are just good for the soul.
We've had a great gift of rain this morning here in Wichita. I absolutely love the rain!!! I love the calming effect that it has on me when I hear the drops hit the roof and window panes. It's my favorite excuse to stay inside and curl up with a blanket, a good book, and a cup of tea. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The simple pleasures in life are some of the greatest gifts God gives us. You just have to look for them. The world has desensitized us and has encouraged us to take these simple gifts for granted. They encourage us to think that we are so important that we don't see the marvolous works of the Creator's hands.
I challenge you all today to find a Psalm that inspires you and to rediscover one of God's simple gifts!
I've recently started writing what I call my Dear Daddy Letters. I bought several little journals and have started writting letters to my heavenly father. It's been fantastic! I always hated the usual journaling stuff because who really wants to make out an entry starting with Dear Diary...Not me! But this is a great way for me to pray!!! Sometimes I find that I can better express my thoughts and prayers in written words verses spoken words, it just depends. But when I write, it's almost like just sending Him one of those "Thinking of you" or "Hi there!" cards that you find in the Hallmark store. Or even just a lengthy text message. Cheesy though, I know, but it works wonders.
I've also decided to take on a project that will enlighten me more about my Daddy. I decided to start reading the Psalms, one per day, and studying it's meaning in context and how it applies to my life. It's been extremely beneficial thus far and I would highly recommend it to anyone! The Psalms to me as a musician are some of the easiest scriptures for me to relate to. David had a gift for song and poetry and boy did he use them! The Psalms to me are some of the most comforting scriptures. In short, they are just good for the soul.
We've had a great gift of rain this morning here in Wichita. I absolutely love the rain!!! I love the calming effect that it has on me when I hear the drops hit the roof and window panes. It's my favorite excuse to stay inside and curl up with a blanket, a good book, and a cup of tea. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The simple pleasures in life are some of the greatest gifts God gives us. You just have to look for them. The world has desensitized us and has encouraged us to take these simple gifts for granted. They encourage us to think that we are so important that we don't see the marvolous works of the Creator's hands.
I challenge you all today to find a Psalm that inspires you and to rediscover one of God's simple gifts!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Do you really trust in all things?
Alrighty...here goes....
So my mother told me last night that my great aunt Jo has breast cancer. Apparently Jo has know for about 4 months and didn't say a word to anyone. This would be her mamma bear side of not wanting to cause anyone more pain than needed. She is going to have an operation with in the next week and then they will be able to see how far along it is. My mom seems to think that it is probably pretty far along, but we won't know for sure until they go in and investigate.
When my mom called and told me last night, I didn't get cry or get upset in the slightest. Some might think that I am a hard hearted person for not reacting like that. When my grandmother died suddenly, I didn't get upset or cry initially either. It wasn't until later after everyone had left did I let the information sink in. I feel that it is much the same way with my great aunt. We don't know how much it has progressed yet, so I'm not going to start worrying until we do find out. I am increadibly aware how upsetting it is to my aunt Dana (Jo's daughter), cousin Ashley and Ryan (Jo's grandkids), and my mother. I feel that God is just asking me to be a comforter. I love Jo a lot too. But for some reason I just have a peace about the situation for the time being. All I know to do is to just trust my heavenly Father to use this situation for the greater good. This may be a way He can touch the hearts of my family members and form a greater bond with them. I find that it is when we are put through trying times that we rely on Him more. It should be Him we always turn to first, but majority of the time we turn to ourselves to fix things. With that method we just make matters worse.
In a connecting note, this reminds me of a new favorite novel, Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns. In the book a young boy is constantly asking his grandfather what Christ really meant when he said, "Ask and ye shall receive". The boy pointed out that he could ask for a thousand dollars and Christ didn't give it to him. Towards the end of the novel, the grandfather finally has an answer for his grandson, which I love:
He says "Well'm, faith ain't no magic wand or money-back gar'ntee, either one.....Hit means you go'n be holdin' on to God in good or bad times, and you accept whatever happens. Hit means you respect life like it is---like God made it---even when it ain't what you'd order from the wholesale house. Faith don't mean the Lord is go'n make lions lay down with lambs jest cause you ast him to, or make fire not burn. Some folks, when they pray to git well and don't even git better, they say God let'm down. But I say thet warn't even what Jesus was a-talkin' bout. When Jesus said ast and you'll git it, He was givin' a gar'nree a-spiritual healin' not body healin'. He was sayin' thet if'n you git beat down---scairt to death you cain't do what you got to, or scairt you go'n die, or scairt folks won't like you---why, all you got to do is put yore hand in God's and He'll lift you up. I know it for a fact, Love. I can pray, 'Lord, hep me not be scairt,' and I dont know how, but it's like a eraser wipes the fears away. And I found out long time ago, when I look on what I got to stand as a dang hardship or a burden, it seems too heavy to carry. But when I look on the same dang thang as a challenge, why, standin' it or acceptin' it is like you done entered a contest. Hit even gits excitin', waitin' to see how everthang's go'n turn out......Jesus meant us to ast God to hep us stand the pain, not beg Him to take the pain away. We can ast for comfort and hope and patience and courage, and to be gracious when thangs ain't goin' our way, and we'll git what we ast for. They ain't no gar'ntee thet we ain't go'n have no troubles and aint go'n die. But shore as frogs croak and cows bellow, God'll forgive us if'n we ast Him to."
I just think that there is so much truth in that. God has tried to tell us numerous times in His word and in our daily lives that our spiritual well being is much more important that the physical time we have on this earth. We can enjoy the time we have to the fullest, but because of sin entering into the world, we have to accept the fact that hardships, disease, and death are apart of that life now. God didn't make the hardships, disease or death-sin created that. Sin's greatest accomplishment is breaking relationships: between God and man and also man and man. There is a peace that God brings that "surpasses all understanding". And it's true. There is nothing like it in this world. We should ask for the things of a spiritual nature, not the physical nature. As I'm running out of battery on my laptop...I hope that you will ponder on these things and think about what that means in your own lives.
So my mother told me last night that my great aunt Jo has breast cancer. Apparently Jo has know for about 4 months and didn't say a word to anyone. This would be her mamma bear side of not wanting to cause anyone more pain than needed. She is going to have an operation with in the next week and then they will be able to see how far along it is. My mom seems to think that it is probably pretty far along, but we won't know for sure until they go in and investigate.
When my mom called and told me last night, I didn't get cry or get upset in the slightest. Some might think that I am a hard hearted person for not reacting like that. When my grandmother died suddenly, I didn't get upset or cry initially either. It wasn't until later after everyone had left did I let the information sink in. I feel that it is much the same way with my great aunt. We don't know how much it has progressed yet, so I'm not going to start worrying until we do find out. I am increadibly aware how upsetting it is to my aunt Dana (Jo's daughter), cousin Ashley and Ryan (Jo's grandkids), and my mother. I feel that God is just asking me to be a comforter. I love Jo a lot too. But for some reason I just have a peace about the situation for the time being. All I know to do is to just trust my heavenly Father to use this situation for the greater good. This may be a way He can touch the hearts of my family members and form a greater bond with them. I find that it is when we are put through trying times that we rely on Him more. It should be Him we always turn to first, but majority of the time we turn to ourselves to fix things. With that method we just make matters worse.
In a connecting note, this reminds me of a new favorite novel, Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns. In the book a young boy is constantly asking his grandfather what Christ really meant when he said, "Ask and ye shall receive". The boy pointed out that he could ask for a thousand dollars and Christ didn't give it to him. Towards the end of the novel, the grandfather finally has an answer for his grandson, which I love:
He says "Well'm, faith ain't no magic wand or money-back gar'ntee, either one.....Hit means you go'n be holdin' on to God in good or bad times, and you accept whatever happens. Hit means you respect life like it is---like God made it---even when it ain't what you'd order from the wholesale house. Faith don't mean the Lord is go'n make lions lay down with lambs jest cause you ast him to, or make fire not burn. Some folks, when they pray to git well and don't even git better, they say God let'm down. But I say thet warn't even what Jesus was a-talkin' bout. When Jesus said ast and you'll git it, He was givin' a gar'nree a-spiritual healin' not body healin'. He was sayin' thet if'n you git beat down---scairt to death you cain't do what you got to, or scairt you go'n die, or scairt folks won't like you---why, all you got to do is put yore hand in God's and He'll lift you up. I know it for a fact, Love. I can pray, 'Lord, hep me not be scairt,' and I dont know how, but it's like a eraser wipes the fears away. And I found out long time ago, when I look on what I got to stand as a dang hardship or a burden, it seems too heavy to carry. But when I look on the same dang thang as a challenge, why, standin' it or acceptin' it is like you done entered a contest. Hit even gits excitin', waitin' to see how everthang's go'n turn out......Jesus meant us to ast God to hep us stand the pain, not beg Him to take the pain away. We can ast for comfort and hope and patience and courage, and to be gracious when thangs ain't goin' our way, and we'll git what we ast for. They ain't no gar'ntee thet we ain't go'n have no troubles and aint go'n die. But shore as frogs croak and cows bellow, God'll forgive us if'n we ast Him to."
I just think that there is so much truth in that. God has tried to tell us numerous times in His word and in our daily lives that our spiritual well being is much more important that the physical time we have on this earth. We can enjoy the time we have to the fullest, but because of sin entering into the world, we have to accept the fact that hardships, disease, and death are apart of that life now. God didn't make the hardships, disease or death-sin created that. Sin's greatest accomplishment is breaking relationships: between God and man and also man and man. There is a peace that God brings that "surpasses all understanding". And it's true. There is nothing like it in this world. We should ask for the things of a spiritual nature, not the physical nature. As I'm running out of battery on my laptop...I hope that you will ponder on these things and think about what that means in your own lives.
Peace that surpasses all understanding
It is another night at the old inn and here I am writing my faith blog .
God is so GOOD! Last night I was just having a difficult time with all the thoughts my heart and mind were dealing with, and God answers my unrealized prayer. One of my good friends, Rachel, called me and asked if I would want to come over after I got off work and spend some time catching up. I haven't seen her in a few months, and so I went over. I had the best time with her! We had chicken and steamed broccoli while we talked a bit and watched Sense and Sensibility. Given that we both fell asleep before the movie was over since we started it around 2am, but it was so good to be there. God knew that I needed an escape from my own thoughts and gave me Rachel. I would have never thought to text her or ask if she wanted to come over, but God just has a great plan. You think of all the places in the world and the people who live in it...you can think of the universe and it's vast contents...and yet God makes time to take care of each and every one of us, even when we don't ask for it. We are so small and insignificant, but He envelopes us with His love and care. What an awesome God we serve! He has just given me such a peace today. I feel rested, refreshed, and renewed. I know that He is hovering over me, I can feel His calming touch on my heart. He's just telling me to wait and be still and know that He is in charge of all aspects of my life in the present and future. I may worry about the issues on my heart down the road a bit, but I know that He is leading me every step of the way. Yesterday I got frustrated and said that I was upset because I couldn't see what route God wants me to take and if it was different than where my own heart wants to go....the truth dawned on me today. I'm not sure what or where I want to go, and I don't have to see where God is leading me! He will show me in His own time and I just need to be patient and wait. It is so comforting to know that my fate is not in my own hands! What a scary idea!!! It is much safer and better off in the hands of my Lord and Savior. I just need to remain plyable in His hands so that I might be a vessel He can use for His purpose.
On a side note, I have a prayer of thanksgiving. Elsa is doing much much much better! Her physical state is drastically changed since I saw her last. I went to visit her yesterday in the nursing home she is staying at while she recovers and goes through physical therapy. The color has returned to her face, she is able to breath normally, walk very fast (hehe), she has lost some of the excess weight, and her spirit is uplifted! Her son is miraculously still with us, however he is not eating or drinking anything and he won't last long this way. Elsa has already arranged the memorial service for May, his cremation, written the obituary, etc. She is obviously still in pain about it, but I feel that she has found some solice knowing that God is in control. My mother goes in to visit her several times a week, and it brings Elsa so much joy. I'm just so glad to know that she is doing better!
Please still keep my cousin Nikki and her family in your prayers. Her husband, Scott, left for Iraq yesterday and she still has her two small children, Zach and Hannah, to look after while he is gone for another year.Please also keep me in your prayers as I still have some issues that are weighing down on my mind.
God bless you all and if you have anyone to add to the prayer requests, please leave a comment!
God is so GOOD! Last night I was just having a difficult time with all the thoughts my heart and mind were dealing with, and God answers my unrealized prayer. One of my good friends, Rachel, called me and asked if I would want to come over after I got off work and spend some time catching up. I haven't seen her in a few months, and so I went over. I had the best time with her! We had chicken and steamed broccoli while we talked a bit and watched Sense and Sensibility. Given that we both fell asleep before the movie was over since we started it around 2am, but it was so good to be there. God knew that I needed an escape from my own thoughts and gave me Rachel. I would have never thought to text her or ask if she wanted to come over, but God just has a great plan. You think of all the places in the world and the people who live in it...you can think of the universe and it's vast contents...and yet God makes time to take care of each and every one of us, even when we don't ask for it. We are so small and insignificant, but He envelopes us with His love and care. What an awesome God we serve! He has just given me such a peace today. I feel rested, refreshed, and renewed. I know that He is hovering over me, I can feel His calming touch on my heart. He's just telling me to wait and be still and know that He is in charge of all aspects of my life in the present and future. I may worry about the issues on my heart down the road a bit, but I know that He is leading me every step of the way. Yesterday I got frustrated and said that I was upset because I couldn't see what route God wants me to take and if it was different than where my own heart wants to go....the truth dawned on me today. I'm not sure what or where I want to go, and I don't have to see where God is leading me! He will show me in His own time and I just need to be patient and wait. It is so comforting to know that my fate is not in my own hands! What a scary idea!!! It is much safer and better off in the hands of my Lord and Savior. I just need to remain plyable in His hands so that I might be a vessel He can use for His purpose.
On a side note, I have a prayer of thanksgiving. Elsa is doing much much much better! Her physical state is drastically changed since I saw her last. I went to visit her yesterday in the nursing home she is staying at while she recovers and goes through physical therapy. The color has returned to her face, she is able to breath normally, walk very fast (hehe), she has lost some of the excess weight, and her spirit is uplifted! Her son is miraculously still with us, however he is not eating or drinking anything and he won't last long this way. Elsa has already arranged the memorial service for May, his cremation, written the obituary, etc. She is obviously still in pain about it, but I feel that she has found some solice knowing that God is in control. My mother goes in to visit her several times a week, and it brings Elsa so much joy. I'm just so glad to know that she is doing better!
Please still keep my cousin Nikki and her family in your prayers. Her husband, Scott, left for Iraq yesterday and she still has her two small children, Zach and Hannah, to look after while he is gone for another year.Please also keep me in your prayers as I still have some issues that are weighing down on my mind.
God bless you all and if you have anyone to add to the prayer requests, please leave a comment!
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